What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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