I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
