oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
