Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
