I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
