hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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