Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
