Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
