If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
