Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
