we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
