Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
