her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
