had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
