please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
