whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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