Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
