I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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