My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He shit in the fireplace
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
