I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
