guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
