it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
