Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
