I love black thongs
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
