Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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