I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
