Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
