I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
