He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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