It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
