Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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