My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
