I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
pop tarts are not kleenex
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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