A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
