Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Let's get the cat blown out
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
