my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
