How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
