your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
