remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
