The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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