So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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