You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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