you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he thought i was a dude.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
