her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
