okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
