I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
