the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
