I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
