ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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