I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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