that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
