He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
