how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
